How long are gnomes' legs? WE ARE A
HOUSE DIVIDED!*
It all
started when I did the painting of the gnome for my son. When I started to
sketch it, I drew the gnome with long legs. My wife, horrified, asked me to
make them short legs, so I complied (even though I knew it to be COMPLETELY
WRONG. Objectively speaking, of course).
Later, as I was driving with my daughter, I mentioned that her mom
erroneously asked me to draw a short-legged gnome. My daughter did not take my
side. In fact, as soon as we got home, she ran into the house, hugged my wife,
and cried, "Mom, you're right about everything! I'm sorry I ever doubted
you!" I wish I were making that up.
Undaunted in my certainty, I decided to
take this question to the internet. So I leave it up to you - do gnomes have
long or short legs?
Which gnome is correct? The wholly erroneous one on the left,
or the amazingly accurate one on the right? I ask you, in my TOTALLY UNBIASED
fashion.
The Gnomes book, illustrated by Rien Poortvliet.
A super-awesome illustrator to be sure, a classic of the genre, and he painted them with short legs. But Dali painted super awesome pictures of elephants with long, skinny, pointy legs, and that doesn't make it true either!
A super-awesome illustrator to be sure, a classic of the genre, and he painted them with short legs. But Dali painted super awesome pictures of elephants with long, skinny, pointy legs, and that doesn't make it true either!
Short Legs: Evidence #2:
Every garden gnome in existence
Oh sure, you've got the strength of numbers on this one. But think about it - do you think LONG SKINNY ceramic legs would hold up? That's why they don't have ceramic garden giraffes either!
Oh sure, you've got the strength of numbers on this one. But think about it - do you think LONG SKINNY ceramic legs would hold up? That's why they don't have ceramic garden giraffes either!
Long Legs: Evidence #1:
The Nomes in the Land of Oz
Okay, so he spelled them "nomes." But hey, John R. Neill drew them with long legs no matter how they were spelled. And who are we to argue with the Royal Illustrator of Oz?
Okay, so he spelled them "nomes." But hey, John R. Neill drew them with long legs no matter how they were spelled. And who are we to argue with the Royal Illustrator of Oz?
Long Legs: Evidence #2:
Elsie and the Gnome
Sure, these pictures may be debunked, but people believed them at the time. And when people were trying to disprove them, you know what they didn't say? They didn't say, "Hey, that can't be a real gnome because its legs are too long!" Looked just fine to everybody. I rest my case!
Sure, these pictures may be debunked, but people believed them at the time. And when people were trying to disprove them, you know what they didn't say? They didn't say, "Hey, that can't be a real gnome because its legs are too long!" Looked just fine to everybody. I rest my case!
* Unevenly divided, as it is four against
one (me), but divided nonetheless. I STAND FIRM!
